I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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