come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
