That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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