Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
