I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
