Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize