i think my mom watched the whole time
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
