We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
