Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
