i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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