Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
