The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize