I puked a lego.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
