Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
