My first STD was from a foam party
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
