You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
