You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
