Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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