dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So vagazzling was a success
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
