did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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