Pants 0. Shit 1.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize