can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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