She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Send help, water and tortillas.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
