its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
