SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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