Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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