He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
