she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize