i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
