So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
