imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize