I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
