i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize