is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
