Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
