the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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