so explain again why im purple
no
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
