Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
