He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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