never play flip cup with pint glasses
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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