In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like abortions should bother me more
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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