No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
