I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
