How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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