Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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