and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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