69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
