ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
