He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
