Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
BRING THE BAGELS
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
