Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
