I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
