I'm drive I can fine osifer
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
