I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
