we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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