Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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