when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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