so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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