Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
