Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Who wears a wallet chain?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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