I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
