No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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