All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
