Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
