She just used a chaser for red wine.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
