Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize