okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
