FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
