I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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