I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
