We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
