my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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