He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
