Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
