I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
