you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
