I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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