I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
North Korea, Best Korea!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
